Life

One minute you don't have a care in the world and the next minute it comes crashing down on you. It is a lesson for everyone that life should never be taken for granted. You never know what is lurking around the corner.

A dear dear friend lost his father to a road accident. I cannot imagine the pain and the suffering his family must have gone through when his father was in the hospital. The first phone call received, the panic and the hope that everything is going to be ok. His friends and family prayed for his recovery, but God had other plans.
No amount of prayers can save a person sometimes :( Thats life for you.

Dear Sanju, I am praying that God gives you the strength to withstand your loss and help you tide over tough times. A big warm hug to you from across miles.

patience!

Patience, they say is a virtue. It is easy to say that, for me to put it into practice is difficult. Be it in any situation, most times all i need is a little bit of patience and tolerance. That is the single most thing because of which i end up screwing up things. And that is the most common advice i get from K, my mom and sis!
For example, i ended up wasting more than an hour at work today for something to work, all because i didn't have the patience to wait for the machine to finish what it was doing. I kept restarting the damn thing only to come back to the same state.

It has been the same thing with the relocation thing at work. I get the same reply every time i ask them. They are working actively on it and don't want to let go of me. While it is good to know that they are considering helping me relocate to where K currently is, it is very frustrating to not have a plan or a timeline. sometimes i feel i should just quit my job and go.

I take inspiration from this wonderful couple i know. They are seeing each other for a while now and want to get married. But the usual hurdle of acceptance from the family is stopping them. They are SO patient, that they have been trying to convince their families for almost 2 and a half years now! They just grin and bear all the adversities.

So from today on i will be trying to practice getting a hold on this "virtue".
Take deep breathes and WAIT! Things will happen when they have to happen...

Old age bites back?

An after dinner stroll turned out to be quite eventful and saddening today.

Close by home there is a temple outside which sits a security guard every night.
As we approached the temple we saw of couple of people milling around an old man who seem to be fast asleep. Looking at this i thought maybe the old man had lost his way. Having lived all my life in the same locality i can recognize quite a few people in the neighborhood. Thinking that maybe i would help the old man reach home, we approached the people who were standing around him. Turned out that this person wasn't someone i know. The security then told us it looked like the old man had deliberately left home as he had some bottled water and bread with him. It was his way of preparation to fend for himself.
One of the neighbors had got a blanket for the old man and asked him who he was and if he had lost his way. The old man looked like he was from a respected and well to-do-family. Any question that was asked to the old man to place his whereabouts, met with the same answer "Gottilla" (I don't know).

This situation moved me to tears. We stood there for sometime looking at the old man sleeping on the cold stone slab. And we moved on. Apparently this was the second time in the week that such an incident happened by the temple.

I wonder why people are ill-treated as they get old. I agree that they become senile and child-like. All they ask is for food,shelter and some love and affection if you are generous enough. After all the sacrifices and hardships parents face to bring up their kids, is it too difficult to take care of them nicely during their old age? Isn't it every child's responsibility and every parent's right?

It also made me think, how selfish the society in general is. All we did was, show sympathy for the old man ,feel bad for him and just get on with our lives. But then, I am an average person, whose decisions are impacted by/impact others around me. Or maybe i am using it as an excuse.
I have new found respect for people who are into serving the society. It takes a lot of selflessness and compassion to reach out and help people and give them permanent solutions to their problems.
Maybe i will go back with some food tomorrow, if not help find a shelter for the old man, thats the least i can do, if he is still around.

I hadnt realised that....

something as inane as shopping for groceries can be fun!
Going to the busy market place, just looking at all the fresh produce makes me happy!
yup...i can be that weird!
Things look so colorful and it is so much fun to take in all the sights and the smells.
I even haggled with the lady selling flowers just to see if it works considering that I am a novice at it.
Maybe it wont be fun anymore if i'll have to do it on daily basis ;)

At Death's door...

I was returning home from office and saw a group of people huddled in front of the neighbour's house. I didnt make too much of it. I thought it was just a bunch of women gathered around to share local gossip. Being new to the neighborhood we have not yet reached a stage of familiarity where we indulge in friendly banter with neighbors. It was only later in the night when we saw an ambulance parked by that something was amiss. And we learnt that a 30-year old man had committed suicide. As we learned more, i realised that i had actually known the guy when a bunch of us kids had given a program on radio. That was 15 years ago and i hadnt seen him after that.

The news of his death saddened me and the realisation that i had actually known the person hit me hard. I remember him as a gangly kid with bright eyes and a ready smile. He was the most talkitive amongst us kids.

I still cant fathom what was so unbearable in his life that prompted him to end it. What could have been so irreversible that he resorted to this heinous act?
What went through his mind in those last few minutes before he made the decision?
How did he summon up so much courage to knock on death's door?

These questions, i know are the same that his family is trying to seek answers for.
His parents will never know his last thoughts. I can only pray that they find solace in this difficult time. I can only pray that his soul rests in peace.

Marriages are made in heaven?

Cliched as the topic sounds, what made me blog about it was an email my sister sent me.
It was sent because my family went through a lot and was a lot apprehensive when i announced my intentions of getting married to K. This was at a time when the search for a groom for me by my family was intense and anything less than a traditional arranged marriage was unacceptable. Things finally fell into place and the rest as they say is history.

I thought the email was sweet and touching especially because she was my pillar of strength throughout the ordeal! Here goes the excerpt:

hey ...
wanted to share a cute li'l story with you guys.A friend of mine who is 45 yrs old lost her husband last year when he committed suicide coz they never got along well!!She tried really hard to make the marriage work, but could never satisfy him and I trust her when she says that because I ve known her for the past 4 years and she is an absolutely wonderful person.
Anyway, she is from Capetown South Africa and went back home for Christmas this year.There she meets this guy whom she knew since she was 6 years old and had not been in touch for 27 years.He apparently had never been married because he thought she was the love of his life and he was frustrated that he had lost her to some one else! So after 27 yrs and 1 dead husband, my friend finally hooked up with this guy and they had a beautiful beach side wedding with just the two of them and a priest at the ceremony.And the first thing she told me when she came back was that she had been looking for the ideal partner all her life when he had shown up in her life at the age of 6!!and so I told her, Marriages are surely made in heaven!!
Anyway, sounds like a movie story , but it's true! I kinda got reminded of S and K and how foolish it would have been for them to not have been together !!


This brought a smile to my face :)

Discovery!

On the recent road trip that i went on, I made an amazing discovery! Its the Lonely Planet book. It has all kinds of information one needs when traveling to the unknown.
Its got everything from to places to see, restaurant listings, hotels and lodges listing with the telephone numbers. It also has these little tips about the best time to visit a particular place, what to look out for, what to give a miss etc.
My next visit to a bookstore i am definitely picking up a copy.
Yay to The Lonely Planet!

Living under an illusion....

I have always heard people talking about someone else being on drugs or being doped.
I have seen on TV and movies junkies snorting cocaine or smoking marijuana.
However today i got to witness firsthand some one actually under the haze of addictive stuff.

This happened on my way to work while traveling in an auto rickshaw. While we were waiting for the traffic lights to go green, i noticed this person sitting on the sidewalk,inhaling from a bottle. On close observation i realized that it was a commonly used correction fluid called Erazex. It is cheap and easily available and the most common addicts to such stuff are the urchins and people living off streets.

They probably see it as a means of attaining quick relief from the harsh life that reality offers them. They would rather be living under an illusion than be faced with hunger, homelessness and the generally desolate life they lead.

I looked up for more information on this and found an article relevant to the city i live in. You can read more about it here . It was published sometime last year.

In comparison to this, it left me wondering why people who seem to be relatively doing well in life end up doing substance abuse.

Foot in mouth.....

There are times when i talk about something very vehemently, especially if it is something i am very passionate about or something that i strongly believe in. I usually talk openly about what i feel about things. Often in such situations i come about as being opinionated,hopefully not over bearing !
One such incident happened at office today. We were all talking over our morning coffee at the pantry, boss included.
There are a series of events happening in office as a run up to the annual day.I found that the activities were not as well-organized compared to the previous year and expressed so.
The minute i said this , the boss said , "I approved the mail that was sent out".
I should have known then to keep my mouth shut then and not go on, knowing that he was part of the organizing committee. But no, I had to go on and elaborate why i thought it could have been better.

Sigh! Next time hope i think hard before i blurt out something.

Ok na?

A strange thing happened yesterday which suddenly made me realise how much difference it makes being married,in the Indian society. I was out on the porch lighting lamps since it was Diwali.This neighbor of mine spots me and stops his bike and comes up to speak to me.
I am wondering what possibly would make him want to speak to me! We usually just nod and exhange a hi when we see each other.

He starts by saying he needs some information about an "alliance" for his nephew.This particular "alliance" happens to be my cousin's daughter.
The conversation went like this :
Neighbor : Nimm kade ondu hudgi idaaLe.... nimm tande cousin magaLu anthe...
me : err...(racking my brains to figure out whom he is speaking about.After a long explanation realised who he was talking about)
Neighbor : "hudgi hege? ok na? ("Whats your opinion about the girl?")
me : huh? err... yeah very nice girl and good family as well! (duh!!)
Neighbor : hudgi akka divorcee anthe? (Her sister is a divorcee)
Me : Akka divorcee aadre yenu? (How does it matter?)
Neighbor : proceed madbahuda ?("Should we go ahead?")
me : hmm... haan ....proceed maadi....yenu problem illa....(sure why not...go ahead!)
Neighbor : "naavu ade yochne maadtiddvi....sadhya eega ondu reference sikktalla!"(Its a good thing that we found a reference)
I just grin stupidly and nod my head!

I have never been asked such questions before! duh, i didnt know how to react! For God's sake,how does my opinion about a person matter in situations like this!Its upto the two people seeking alliance how they like each other and how much they think they would be compatible.And how does it matter what's the marital status is of the rest of the family?

I then realised that one's status in the Indian society is elevated after marriage.Your opnion matters when it comes hitching up two people!
What if something goes wrong and they blame me later in life?yikes! i want my single status back when faced with such situations! :D

Its a date!

I did something i have never done before.I went out on a lunch date........with myself! Not that it is something that has never been done before or is unheard of. I am sure people do this regularly but i had never until today fathomed myself eating alone.

Since my usual lunch gang in office was out on vacation owing to Diwali, i thought of giving it a try today.

Now, it is very important to choose the place where you want to enjoy your first solitary meal. It should either be a very crowded place like a fast food joint, where no one notices you or it should be a place where there aren't many people. The popular restaurants are not a good choice. People instantly notice that you are alone and they might end up thinking you are a loser to be dining alone! You will be subjected to pitying glances or stares, making you conscious and that might ruin the whole experience of dining alone.

After deciding between the food court in the nearest mall and a small, quiet cafe in the nearby theater auditorium, off i went to the mall close to my work place. This also gave me a chance to go pick up a few books that i had been wanting to. After almost an hour of browsing through the various sections in the bookstore, i picked up a few books and then headed off to the food court in the mall.

The shortest line was at the subway counter and I decided to head there. After the sub was ready, I found myself a quiet corner and settled down to enjoy the meal with the one of the books that i had bought. Unfortunately it is difficult to read a book when you are attacking a sub whose stuffing threatens to spill out in all directions.

I gave up reading the book and settled down to the next best thing , studying other people. :D
I noticed that there were a few more people enjoying their solitary lunch.One girl looked like she had a lot of experience (nope am not judging her social life :D). She was totally immersed in the novel she was reading. There were others who were not quite comfortable eating alone.All they wanted was to be done with their lunch quickly!There were techies in large groups enjoying their friday lunch, flaunting their company identity cards. Then there were these college kids who looked like they had bunked classes to enjoy with their friends. And all the aunties out for their Diwali shopping getting a respite from slogging in the kitchen. And of course the high-society types. It always makes me wonder why they would want to eat at a food court. I saw Charu Sharma once at the food court in another popular mall in the city.

By this time i had finished eating my sub and i would say it was not a bad experience eating alone. One lesson from this was experience is not to order something messy if you are planning on enjoying your meal with only a book for company!