Of late most conversations with my mother seem to be centred around the same topic. I usually take her advice on people management, what with her plethora of experience managing people. Perhaps this sounds strange if you dont have to interact with relatives on an everyday basis. With friends its different. Its more casual and you are pretty sure of how they would react.
But with relatives, you have to be more gaurded. They are constantly judging you, watching your every move, critiquing every word that you utter. If i had it my way, I would have thrown all caution to wind and wouldnt have cared a damn and spoken out what exactly i think of them, but sometimes it doesnt work that way. You need to have that harmony and maintain outwardly appearances atleast for the family's sake. That way i am lucky that K's parents are some of the nicest people i know and i dont have to worry about such things with them.
Anyway, coming back to what i started off with, one such conversation i had with my mom, it was interesting to note her reaction . "try to do those things which people want, especially with those who are always judging you and waiting for that one wrong move from your side. One should never give an opportunity for them to comment on you. With people who matter , its different, they understand you." However warped that logic sounds, i have seen that it works. Atleast you are at peace with yourself and spared all the negativity which would arise otherwise.
I have seen more often than not , sometimes experience in dealing with people matters more than just "doing the right thing". You sometimes have to compromise and do whatever it is that people want you to do. That way you are at peace. I guess thats the reason that she has successfully managed a big and happy household for 30 odd years.
She has humongous amounts of patience and tolerance for all kinds of people.Not sure if i can emulate her, but one thing that i have decided is atleast be patient when dealing with people, even though they have been nasty in the past and dont deserve the attention. Sigh, quite a task it will turn out to be.